This blog is dedicated to my mother, to China and Japan


Miyasan Yumei 1949
Known then as
"Yasuko Miyafuji"


Part 5: My Legacy

She died that night.

I was angry with her for years. But since then, I’ve been humbled by my own mistakes, by the things I have done that I now realize made my children feel unloved, neglected, perhaps unwanted at times, and I know – I know without a doubt how much I loved them, [...]

Part 4: Ambivalence

My mother and I had an ambivalent relationship. She had always stated she wanted her children to be close to their father, as she had never been. I believe her. But she had no concept of boundaries, no idea what a healthy relationship was. And the child in her was so needy she could not [...]

Part 3: Our Relationship

During this time, I walked my own healing path. I had contact with Mom. I took care of her. I always felt it was my responsibility.

I knew how much my mother had given up to marry my father – she made sure she told me – her career as a model, the country [...]

Part 2: My Beginnings

I was an accident – at least on my father’s part. I’m not so sure on my mother’s. She wanted him more than anything. My father was in the Navy and was getting transferred back to the United States.

My mother told me I was “this close” to getting aborted. The last time they [...]

Part 1: Miyasan’s Beginnings

My mother was born in China in 1926, where she spent the first two years of her life, before she was sold to a Japanese couple. They took her to Japan, where she was raised.

My mother suffered considerable abuse from her stepfather. Her first stepmother provided a sort of buffer, but when she [...]