Miyasan’s Daughter

My name is Demian, and I am Miyasan’s Daughter. My mother died over 8 years ago, while I was pregnant with my youngest.

This is part of my healing journey, a new turn in a road I have traveled for a very long time. I’ve been here before many times, but in other ways, it is also a first. I am a singer/songwriter, an author, a human rights activist, advocate for women, mother and grandmother.

Of all the projects I’ve ever engaged in, even with the writing of songs giving voice to the pain of sexual abuse, this is the most difficult passage for me…to turn and search for my mother…for in doing so, I must look much farther and much deeper within myself to find her. For all my claiming to have been a “daddy’s girl” when I was little, my mother has had the most profound and lasting affect upon me.

I introduce a little of our background in a 5 post series, beginning with Part 1: Miyasan’s Beginnings. I encourage you to read it first, to get the most out of this blog and my writings.

With the circumstances of our family, my own inner turmoil, the ambivalence and love/hate relationship we always had, even as I increased in my caregiving capacity as I got older, I was denied…we were denied each other. In a way, these writings are an attempt to reclaim a part of that, to see my mother, this most important person in my life, with clearer eyes…to see her perhaps for the first time.

I do this, because I have already caught too many glimpses of her within my own self…and that’s not such a bad thing. And it’s realizing that, and perhaps, for the first time in my life, being ready and finally capable, to finally receive the gifts that she has always had to offer me, if she had but known how to give, and I, to receive, that inspires me to begin this journey.

Demian Elaine’,
~Miyasan’s Daughter